Pregnancy = Stupidity and Forgetfulness

So if it's true what they say about pregnancy turning me into an airhead, then I have bad news - I've been pregnant my WHOLE LIFE. I'm giving birth to a 21 year old baby, can you say two epidurals? Listen to how "pregnancy" has had it's effect on me.
1. So I was playing Draw Something, which is like pictionary on your phone. I had three words to choose from when it was my turn to draw. The last word I didn't know what it meant, so I used dictionary.com. Turns out the word wasn't Mono-Poly like i read it, it was just Monopoly.  Good times.
2. I was on the phone with my mom and I was trying to think of the word Impersonator, but i called it a Mimicist.
3. Last but not least, I sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green. Don't worry I figured it out after about 2-3 minutes.

If you know me at all, you know these are daily mistakes. I tried to tell Frank it's all pregnancy craziness, but he just told me I'm cuter when I don't talk. I wasn't even upset because well, I am really pretty.

Speaking of pretty, some random guy tried to hit on me at work today. I was outside taking orders in the drive thru, and a suburban pulls up. There was a big mexican guy in his 30's in the driver seat with his two friends.
He says "hey, lookin' good tonight."
Me- "thanks"
Mexican- "you married?"
Me- "and knocked up. listen i'm in school, i work here, and i got stretch marks, you don't want any of this."

Everyone in the car started laughing so hard. So he just said "ok then, how about a refill?" as he held up his drink. Good Times.

I feel like my temper is getting better, I'm not momzilla anymore. I keep on dreaming that I can feel my baby moving. One night I dreamed I could feel the babies heart beat because of her position on my side. The next night I dreamed she was moving so much I thought she was break dancing in her little placenta. I just want to feel my baby so bad!

So off topic, but I can't stop thinking about it. Mainly because I feel like I always end up in this situation, but...  When someone has a lazy eye, or a glass eye it's like which one do you look at?? I don't want to be rude and assume it's one eye when it's really the other. So I just stare back and forth at both, but then I look like I'm the one with the crazy eye.
Also, I figured out why they call them "tube socks" probably because my legs are so swollen my ankles are tubes. I have no knees, just four thighs. Straight leg pants fit me like skinny jeans. I'm a real treat to look at.

Even though I could curl up and be used as a wrecking ball, my brains are nowhere to be found. And, even though I fart as much as I talk, Frank still loves me. I think he has a lazy eye and is really looking at our cute neighbor, thinking it's me. It's been 8 months and a sad 25lbs later, but he still looks at me like he did when we met at the airport. I remember it perfectly; the huge smile on his face, the terrified look that was on mine, the black suit and purple tie he wore, and that cute little baby face that makes me melt. We were two strangers who were head over heels in love. That was the best weekend we have ever had. The chemistry was instant, that sweater that uncle mike claims he borrowed from me was adorable, our late night movies and cuddling on the couch was romantic, and those little glances at each other throughout the whole weekend said "I Love You." 15 months later, he still has that smile on his face, we still glance at each other with love, cuddling on the couch is practically our hobby, I come home to candle light dinners, and every morning and every night I get the sweetest kiss. Now we have a dragon baby on the way and we couldn't be happier.
So, I may be huge, cranky, and a big airhead, but I have everything I could ever ask for. Life is GOOD.