Our First Christmas

This year was our first Christmas together. For me, joining a family means new traditions, and unpredictable holidays. Whereas I can picture exactly how a Christmas day would happen with my family.
Megan and I would be wide awake at 8am, bugging each other just because we are anxious. No one can leave their rooms, preventing us from seeing what Santa brought. So I use my cell phone to call my parents upstairs, to beg them to wake up. Finally around 9am us kids all line up on the stairs from youngest to oldest, and we take a few pictures. Then my dad plays Santa and one by one he hands out our gifts. After we open gifts my mom makes a delicious breakfast while us kids play with our new toys, ignoring everyone and everything around us. For the rest of the day we hangout, the boys watch football/basketball, then we get dressed up for dinner at grandmas. We have a big Christmas dinner with all our aunts, uncles and cousins. It ends up being a great day. Not to mention we have advent calendars full of candy from grandma!
This year was very different but just as great. This year Frank and I spent Christmas in St. George Utah at his aunt and uncles house. Normally I would wake up early so excited for presents. This year I woke up at 6am because my back was killing me. I finally fell back asleep around 8am, so i slept in till 10am. Then Frank, Tim, and I went to go see Mission Impossible 3, which was a great movie. Then Sal, Tanya, Grandpa Jack, aunt Kathy, and the kids came over for lunch. We watched the Maveriks game, and a western movie. Around 6pm we had a delicious ham dinner, compliments to Toni and Tanya. Then around 7pm we all opened our presents. We got some awesome stuff! Some of my favorites, my Chinese CTR ring, "Always Kiss Me Goodnight" wall sticker, and my favorite victoria secret lip gloss and make up!  Yes I lost some sleep, and had to watch basketball, but we had a great weekend. I loved meeting Frank's grandpa who lives in Texas. I loved being able to show off my skills when I gave two hair cuts, then curled Marianne's hair and did her make up. Most of all, I love how generous, kind, and caring his family is. They all put others first, no matter what the circumstance.
This Christmas was very different, but one to remember. I really look up to Frank's family and I'm grateful for the man they have raised. I look forward to the many holidays we will all spend together.

Christmas Photo Shoot

I have the cutest husband ever. I love you Frank. You make me so happy and I can't wait to spend our first Christmas together. :)

We Aren't Elves

It's true. We aren't elves. We tried to decorate our little apartment for Christmas and so far it's a little crazy. We have white Christmas lights above our kitchen cupboards. A bowl of cinnamon pine cones. A 4 foot Christmas tree with colorful lights and ornaments, and our latest, a ginger bread house. We had a blast decorating our first ginger bread house, although as you can see Frank had a little trouble with the frosting. Since decorating, the little tree and ginger bread man have accidentally been eaten, but it was a delicious accident! Maybe next year if we stay home, we will go all out and have the craziest apartment/house in town. :)

Week One

It's been a while since I have had the time or strength to write something. On Monday I started my medication and my first night was rough. The doc says it will get worse before it gets better, so I warned frank and hoped for the best. Monday night, the first night taking my medication, I had horrible insomnia. I woke up at 2am, 3am and finally I was wide awake at 4am. I decided I should go watch tv and hope to fall asleep. I ended up eating a banana, staring at our Christmas tree, and running to the bathroom every hour. My body was aching, I wanted to sleep but couldn't, and I felt like I was tweaking out. It wasn't until Frank woke up at 7:30am that he knew how weird my night was. He looked all over for me and found me on the floor between the couch and the ottoman. He laughed and asked what I was doing on the floor. My only response was "I have no idea, but I've been here for an hour." That day I went to school, and worked from 6pm-12am, all while still being wide awake.
Ever since that night I've been fine. I sleep well and after a week's worth of medication I have become a whole new person. Unfortunately this is a person Frank isn't too fond of. I used to be a neat freak, loud, weird, terrified, and grumpy. Well my kitchen is covered in dishes, the carpet hasn't seen a vacuum in days, I sleep in, I can keep my mouth shut for more than 5 minutes, and I'm calm. Frank says it's weird that I don't randomly dance around the house, sing, change my voice, or annoy him, yet he likes it. He hates that I don't care to clean. Our rule is, he cooks, I clean. Except now he cooks, and I clean 4-5 days later.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still pretty crazy and the same Ashley I was before. Just now, I feel a lot happier being more relaxed. Although if I want to maintain my marriage I better get to cleaning. So basically things are great.

To Band Aid, Or Not To Band Aid

So I have a story...A story about blood, hair, and how to combine the two. You see, the golden rule when cutting hair is to NEVER cut past your second knuckle. If you look at my left hand, you will see why. I recently got my fourth scar. My first I got on my thumb while I wasn't paying attention. I have two on my pointer finger from cutting too fast, and I just got my fourth on my middle finger. If I continue at this pace, I'm thinkin' I'll lose all my fingers before I graduate. This is how it all started:
It was the beginning of a long Saturday at Taylor Andrews Hair Academy. The smell of hair dye and rank old lady perms filled the air. Walking down the hair-covered halls gave the appearance that everyone wore "boots with the fur." As the clients occupied our empty chairs I became very anxious. Waiting and hoping that my chair would be filled next. Today was the day that I was going to finish my January grid. Once you get ahead, stay ahead...that's my motto. Out of the 60 monthly tasks, I only had 2 more to get passed off in order to get my February grid. So I took the initiative and requested a men's haircut for my grid. At 11:30 a.m  the man who was about to change my day, sat in my seat. With my crazy personality my man, Nolan, and I quickly became friends. Nolan was just looking for a good trim to freshen up before his girlfriend came in town for the holidays, and I wanted to hook a brotha up. I started to get comfortable chatting away and choppin' hair. I know this because then I broke the golden rule and my scissors chomped on my middle finger. It actually didn't hurt, I only noticed because blood was slowly spreading all over my finger. The good news is Nolan didn't notice. The bad news is, he didn't notice because I hid my finger in his curly hair. Hahaha, whoops. In this situation you are supposed to immediately excuse yourself and get a band aid, without mentioning that you need a band aid. Believe it or not, pretty much nobody wants a bloody finger in their hair. So I panicked, I didn't want him to see my face's reaction because then he would think maybe I took a chunk out of his hair. Except then I'd have to say no, but explain it was just a chunk out of my finger. Either way I was in a rut. So I did the obvious, I wiped my finger on the apron and finished the haircut. HA. When it was time for my instructor to check off my haircut I went and got a band aid. I was relieved to have the cut hidden in something other than his hair. Thinking I was in the clear I went about with my routine and took Nolan to the shampoo bowl for a wash and scalp massage. This is where I realized it is a blessing we don't have mirrors in our shampoo room. I was in the middle of the scalp massage, the kind where even though Nolan was a talker, this was able to shut him up. (Although it can be creepy when they lay there, eyes closed, with a smile on their face, all because you are massaging them). As I washed his hair I felt something weird, I pulled my hands out of his hair and the weirdness was revealed. My band aid was hanging off my finger. I quietly giggled as I looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Nobody did, so I threw it in the trash beneath me and kept on going. The haircut ended up being a success, although now that I think of it, he was my only client not to tip me. RUDE. Luckily I still got my stamp, I finished my grid, and I have another battle wound to add to my left hand.

My Fear Factor

Hi, My name is Ashley Chou. I am 20 years old, and for the last 5 years or so, every day has been a constant struggle for me. It's something I've tried to hide because I am embarrassed and I know it's ridiculous. However, in order to get over your fears, you have to face them. So today is the day I put an end to my OCD and anxiety. For the past few years these are the ridiculous things that give me panic attacks:
-People vacuuming or cleaning my room
-People coming over or spending the night
-A messy environment, even one piece of paper on the counter
-Showering when I just washed my hair at school
-Teachers writing on my papers when correcting them...the list goes on.

I live in fear. Fear someone will come out of nowhere and attack me. When I walk to my car, I always kick my feet as I open the door, because I fear someone will be under my car, waiting to cut my Achilles Tendon. I'm afraid of germs. I do not share food or drinks. If someone with diabetes came and sat on my couch, I fear I could get diabetes. 
This is just the beginning of my impractical fears. I know these feelings are so ridiculous it's funny, however I can't control it. I want to control it. I want to feel normal and not get upset over a messy counter top. Life happens, and people move on. Yet I can't seem to move on. Therapists and pills could have solved my problems years ago, but then I feared if I got things under control and let loose, I'd end up living in a pig sty. Then instead of reading about my crazy problems on my blog, you'd be watching me on Hoarders or My Strange Addictions. See, now even my fears have fears.
I am tired and exhausted from living this way. I miss my old, fun, carefree self. The help from my amazing mother and husband has been more than I could ever ask for. Even though they couldn't understand, they always supported me and told me things would be ok. I came to terms that it was time for a change when I realized my fears were affecting others. I have a temper like no other. I'm grumpy and anal and it puts a strain on my marriage. I've lost friends because I won't invite others over and I really prefer not to be at their houses either. And unfortunately I have hurt a lot of people's feelings and have made them feel unwelcome. 
So basically I'm saying today I went to the doctor’s. I'm going to try a low dose anti-depressant that helps with anxiety and OCD.  I am nervous because as a side effect the anxiety makes things get worse before they get better. I hope this, along with therapy, will finally bring me peace.