My Fear Factor

Hi, My name is Ashley Chou. I am 20 years old, and for the last 5 years or so, every day has been a constant struggle for me. It's something I've tried to hide because I am embarrassed and I know it's ridiculous. However, in order to get over your fears, you have to face them. So today is the day I put an end to my OCD and anxiety. For the past few years these are the ridiculous things that give me panic attacks:
-People vacuuming or cleaning my room
-People coming over or spending the night
-A messy environment, even one piece of paper on the counter
-Showering when I just washed my hair at school
-Teachers writing on my papers when correcting them...the list goes on.

I live in fear. Fear someone will come out of nowhere and attack me. When I walk to my car, I always kick my feet as I open the door, because I fear someone will be under my car, waiting to cut my Achilles Tendon. I'm afraid of germs. I do not share food or drinks. If someone with diabetes came and sat on my couch, I fear I could get diabetes. 
This is just the beginning of my impractical fears. I know these feelings are so ridiculous it's funny, however I can't control it. I want to control it. I want to feel normal and not get upset over a messy counter top. Life happens, and people move on. Yet I can't seem to move on. Therapists and pills could have solved my problems years ago, but then I feared if I got things under control and let loose, I'd end up living in a pig sty. Then instead of reading about my crazy problems on my blog, you'd be watching me on Hoarders or My Strange Addictions. See, now even my fears have fears.
I am tired and exhausted from living this way. I miss my old, fun, carefree self. The help from my amazing mother and husband has been more than I could ever ask for. Even though they couldn't understand, they always supported me and told me things would be ok. I came to terms that it was time for a change when I realized my fears were affecting others. I have a temper like no other. I'm grumpy and anal and it puts a strain on my marriage. I've lost friends because I won't invite others over and I really prefer not to be at their houses either. And unfortunately I have hurt a lot of people's feelings and have made them feel unwelcome. 
So basically I'm saying today I went to the doctor’s. I'm going to try a low dose anti-depressant that helps with anxiety and OCD.  I am nervous because as a side effect the anxiety makes things get worse before they get better. I hope this, along with therapy, will finally bring me peace.