Saturday, January 11, 2014

This I Believe: Who You Are, Makes A Difference




            The last four months of my life have proved to be very challenging yet extremely rewarding. In August 2010, just a year out of high school, I packed what little I had and moved to Jishou China. I left all my friends, family and coworkers behind, as I went on a four month long journey to teach English at a middle school in Jishou. Arriving to China,  I was immediately punched in the face by reality. I had no idea where I was, who my room mate would be, how I could survive without my mommy, or even how to teach English to my assigned eleven hundred students ages thirteen-sixteen year olds. My first day approached faster than I anticipated and before I knew it, I was standing in front of approximately seventy children, all waiting for me to say, well, anything. My first week as an English teacher, in a school where only one third of your students understand you, went good excluding the fact that every time I entered a class, I feared I’d pee my pants or vomit. As the weeks and even months went by, I was surprised by the progress I was making. I always wondered how a girl like me, who has a bad memory, doesn’t like school, and is dependant on her mommy, could ever teach anything to a bunch of kids who were only three-six years younger than me. I remembered my favorite quote by Nelson Mandela stating, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” Rereading this quote really put things in a perspective that I’ve never seen before, and I wanted to share it with the world. I spent the next two weeks teaching my students lessons like what makes someone beautiful, friendships, new years resolutions, and challenges they have endured. Through discussing these topics my students learned how they made a difference, in addition, also teaching me that I can make a difference.
At the end of each lesson I had each of them write ‘I am beautiful because...’ then they had to read it to the class. I left the classroom with two quotes on the board, “Who you are makes a difference” and “Remember who you are, you are Ashley’s super star.” It was those last few weeks of school that helped shaped me into who I am today. Even though I spent nine hours a day, six days a week teaching, there isn’t a doubt in my mind I am the one who walked away having learned more than I could ever imagine. Those kids changed my life just by attending my class, smiling when they had tears in their eyes, waving to me in the hall, and spending time with me outside of school. I love each and every one of them for exactly who they are. My students have taught me that although I was so nervous to teach, as long as I stayed true to myself, things would be ok. In return, I gained so much confidence and was able to overcome all obstacles that came my way. I am Ashley Dykstra, who I am makes a difference. 

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